Milenyal banter

I promised myself that I wouldn't post anything about the recent storm that ravaged the city. Everybody would have anyway so thus, the promise. But then my fingers has this itch for online activity. So here I am posting about this almost armageddon named Milenyo or Xangsane as known internationally. Don't worry, these are mostly pointless banter.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Most phenomenona of natural disaster in nature brings out a lot in people or in society. It could bring out the best or even the most vile. Whatever it may be, whether we like it or not, we can never deny its power to affect people in any gargantuan or miniscule way. This storm that made its transit right smack through our capital, a place with boorish pride, undeniably knocked down the city to its knees.

It may have spawned fear. Agony and sadness. Itmay also have also spawned jubilant faces of another day off from school and work. Mostly, it was a time to go back to basics and value simple things that was taken for granted untill the storm hit. People, without anything better to do, came out the streets and started chatting with neighbors and creating a lot of ruckus. Funny, coz it hasn't happened for years now. Family and friends was able get some time of from the daily routine and finally do what they wanted to do when they were busy. Files and clutters were arranged and organized. Relationships were restored and reignited. Books were read, sleep were slept and dreams were dreamed.

A break from the routine and boring. An opening for desries to be fulfilled. To reconnect. To rest. To rearrange and reasses. To step down from a cloud or a tree. No matter what it is. It was a storm that everybody greatly needed (exception to those who lost their lives and homes).

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Yes the storm was a bitch. I woke up that day with the wind slapping the window. Silence inside the room. Chaos outside. The fan wasn't working so I figured the power is out. I never realized that it would be out for more than a day. I checked my phone for anything and LOW BATT was flashing on the lcd screen. SHIT! I checked my palm and the battery is halfway spent already. I felt stupid not charging up the night before knowing that the battery of my phone would be dead anytime the next day. And it died early in the afternoon.

Lunch was like an avante-garde movie. Imagine me eating lunch. Imagine me seated with bay windows behind me. Then imagine the wind wreaking havoc just outside that window. Then Imagine the stillness while I was eating inside. It felt quite absurd.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Since the power was out during the evening, all I had as entertainment were candles and mosquitos. I tried reading books against the candlelight, but I only got a headache. I just tried enjoying the stillness. Brought outside a candle on the front porch. And just breathing in the darkness and quietness of the surroundings. I thought I saw something moving up in the trees with bright eyes but tried ignoring it for a while. I don't need anything like that at that time.

I wish I had power and was able to catch pictures of candlelight. Shit!

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Since the power was out and as well as running water supply, you can imagine how a person can get very sticky and icky. I just coulnd't help but to go outside when it started to rain hard last night. I bathed in the rain and squeezed it out for all its worth. Brings back memories actually. When I was younger, I loved bathing in the rain. One of my favorite things. That may be the reason for my soft spot for rain. threw everything away, inhibitions and self control and just enjoyed the droplets make my body damp and wash away the filth. I felt the stars peeking out of the clouds and the gnomes and other creatures of the dark. I just went on and did a wonderful performance that you see once in a lifetime. Nothing obscene.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

When the power went back on it is as if a farytale has ended. That for a day and a half, the world stopped turning and stopped time and space. As if a rip in space has been created and weird things happened. It is something that a busy buzzing city never expected but secretly asked for in their bedtime prayers. Secret desires were met while this rip was in place. An early halloween treat for ghost and ghouls and the seemingly ghostly existence. And since the world starts to turn again, the fabric in time is mended, leaving in its wake the aftermath of people catching up from things lost and things regained. Until the next time-space warp.

Fine is good

Damn! Something so simple for me became a lot more complicated. In the second session of our workshop, we were fortunate enough to have the honor of a Srilankan international photographer who is somewhat based here in Manila, Tilak Hettige, to do a morning lecture and do some coaching for us since he is around this week. This is an honor apparently since he isn't around the philippines that frequently nowadays. So yay, right? Besides his difficult to understand accent he was very inspiring. So I guess it's a yay.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Most of the lecture involved a lot of AVP's about his works that showcases his styles and techniques with a lot of tips. And I must say, his photographs are total drool-worthy materials. And I couldn't even believe that he primarily uses film cameras. Which leaves image retouching through photoshop or other softwares out of the question. The challenge is that we just have to have this critical eye that sees beauty in everything, no matter how ugly everyone thinks a thing is. So, that makes things difficult since we are used taking photos of things that we see as beautiful. It is a difficult thing to make something ugly into a beautiful masterpiece. (mental voice: Eh paano kung pangit lang talaga siya!?!?!?)

Later in the morning we were thrown into the almost midday heat to take photos. We were no more than 10 seconds outside the lecture room and we were sweating like pigs. We were divided into big groups and were assigned a single subject per group. Our subject was this Aloe Vera plant with bushes clustered around it. Geezuz! It's a big clump of green all over. What's interesting about that??? Then Mr. Hettige explained that we have to find what is interesting about it. Perhaps, the thorns that protrudes on the sides of the leaves? Yeah, but the light is not flattering anything about it, so what now? Then he explained that the light then flatters the slight tint of yellow on the sides. Then he asked if we could see it. We were all staring blankly with "uhhhm.. okay..." coming out of our mouths. He then left us alone to do the assignment and instruced us that we could wander around to get photos of other subjects after getting enough photos of the plant.

The situation of our groupings is quite frustrating. We were at least 10 in the group and were supposed to just use one camera from somebody. The problem is, most of my groupmates have digitals and started shooting with their own anyway. Leaving us film users just standing there doing nothing since we weren't given any film to use. Everybody just clustered around the plant and started shooting, while the other non-digital people were directing and instructing people who are shooting what he/she can do. Ideas and watchamacallit's started to saturate around them and condensed into a cloud, blanketing everyone. (susmaryuseyp! ang daming Bibo!) I decided to just stay in the background and chat up other classmates who are in the same bind as I am. I just followed around, lagging behind.

Until I saw this scene and quickly grabbed my phone and took a quick snapshot:


The one by the arc is Mel my seatmate while the man whose back is turned to us is Lesh, the guy from Malaysia. Because of the midday lighthing some parts of the picture are washed out. But, since I only used a camera from a phone, I couldn't complain.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

The day wasn't that really frustrating. Remember my dread about last weeks practice shoot? Well, some photos turned out fine. With a sigh of relief, I thanked the high heavens things weren't worse for me, unlike my other classmates. In the afternoon, we had a lecture about composition. We had our best photos from last week posted on the whiteboard for everyone to critique. My photo was not the bestseller (the others' were enthralling, which makes me question the authenticity of these photos. Something is not right about these picture but i got no proof) but when the lecturer did an individual critique of the photos my shot was one of the images that stood out for the lecturer. It was praised for a good technique and exposure and it said that it has very good composition. Which made her ask if it was my first time to attend a class about photography. When I replied with a yes, she gave me a doubtful look and expressed that she doesn't think so. Uuuuuyyy..... propeyshonal daw! harhar!

So we had another round of practice shooting late in the afternoon and found some interesting places to shoot in. I still might feel some dread about the outcome of my photos yet, I'm still confident that everything will be fine. Not sure if it would be great, but at least it's fine. Fine is good.

rambling on

Due to lack of a travelling companion and for the lack of knowledge of getting to the area and the area itself, I accompanied my sister to Cubao. I am her everlasting slave.

and the ramblings...

I got to ride the MRT again after so many months and it still hasn't lost its charm with me. It is still one of my favorite public transportation. Then we went in Gateway Mall. And Lo and Behold! we are suddenly bombarded with people, with ages ranging from 12 - 21, wearing red. We got annoyed actually, we did not know what was going on. It is as if there was a presidential decree that all shall wear red on that day and everyone conspired against us. What adds to the irateness is that a flow of people in red seems never ending. You see them up and down the escalator. you seem the strolling in droves. (Parang may nag-sabi na last day na ang mag-red nung araw na yun at bawal na siya next day!)

Anyway, Yesterday was my first time checking out the new LRT2. And boy, was it a surprise for me. It was amazing! It is as if you could forget that you were in the grime infested city of Metro Manila and for a second you might mistake it for a train station in Singapore. I might be exaggerating but that was what I felt. Inside the train you could actually feel the difference of temperature. You know that the airconditioning works regardless of how many people are on board or no matter how sunny it is that day. The station itself was cool. I was compelled to take pictures but, thought otherwise. And you buy tickets from a vending machine! The only problem with that would be the machine being bugged and eat your money. Another convenience in public transportation achieved. Though I wonder, does the route the LRT2 service need it? I don't think the area badly needs it. They should contemplate on having something like that to extend up to the south then it would be perfect. And I wonder how long could they make it stay clean and orderly like the way it is now?

My sister expressed her desire to shop for shoes in Marikina Shoe Expo or Cubao X. But, realizing that we are pressed for time that day, we had to tuck it back in our to do list and save it for another day of exploits.

Fragmented thoughts about last sunday

Yesterday was the first day of my photography workshop. I had to wake up very early in the morning (ungodly hours in my world) since session starts at 9am. And since I am usually a night owl, I was not able to get any sleep. When I was about to doze off into Lala Land the alarm went off. Great. Knowing that it is the first day and a very important part of my life, I just went on without sleep. Imagine me going through the whole day workshop without any sleep, groggy. Imagine a day long lecture. Imagine me in it. Yep, I almost fell off the chair. Luckily the class was very interesting to keep me barely awake.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

On my way to the workshop the bus passed by the new School of Design and Arts Building of Benilde due to a surprise detour c/o the Bar Examinees. The segment of Taft avenue in front of La Salle is closed to give way for the law students to lose their wits in. And so I saw this still underconstructed campus. Geez! The building was extremely massive! I couldn't wait to see it finished. It is said that the building would be the most advanced arts building in Asia. (will house a number of theaters, galleries, studios, workrooms and of course, classrooms) Well, yeah I guess there are some exagerrations in the claim, but still it is not impossible, seeing the size of the infrastructure. Even if you combine the main CSB building and Angelo King Center it wouldn't still be enough. And yes, there will be parking! Seeing the still to be finished building made me want to enroll and study there again to just experience the building. Waaaah!!! life is so unfair.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

I had to walk through half of intramuros just to get to the workshop venue. I didn't know that the place is a residential area as well. I felt like walking through the streets of tondo. Everybody was alive and noisy like buzzing bees so early in the morning.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

In the workshop, we are a very homogenous group. Each person comes from a very different background and industry. Our ages span from high school to gramps. There is an Indian and 2 Malaysians participating. People from provinces and kikays. oh, There are a handful cuties too. harhar.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

It was very very hot, sunny humid when the workshop started. Then when we were sent out to do some practice shooting the sun bid thee us well and hid behind thick, damp clouds. With occasional lightnings slicing through these symbols of gloom and cleansing. We had to do our assignment shots in a hurry just to beat the rain. We had to compel the mamang kutsero to ride through the corner to take a shot of him moving. We were compelled to pay him Php10 per shot as well. Then we saw a co-classmate shooting another Mr. kutsero for free. Aargh!

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Dread: it is something you feel when you sense that something nefarious is going to happen. Dread is what we, film users, feel about our roll of film and the thought of seeing how it will turn out next session. The workshop does the processing for us so we have to wait till the next session (after a week) to see the results. Damn digital users and their perks!

Fruits of My Online Addiction

Presenting the fruits of my online addiction.

If you have been reading my entries, I have mentioned that I have been immersing myself in online gaming. Well, here it is, one of my characters in World of Warcraft.

This is SheeRa, a Paladin.

She hates undead minions and makes sure she smites them with her might and holy judgment whenever she sees one crossing her path. She makes a good tank. It takes more than just an army to take her down. hehe, well, just a little bit.


Good thing we gound out about one of those free servers. But, I am still much enjoying the real world, mind you. this just makes a perfect pastime.

they always say that stupidity doesn't have a place in this world. But, so far it's a big hit.

The Shadow Roars!

I just like this picture that I took with one of our cats here at home. Just wanted to share it. Her name is Shadow. I christened her with that name because she is all dark-colored similar to a Hyena's. Then when she arrived in our yard, she would be wary of people around her, hiding in every crevice, nook and cranny just to evade any moving bodies. Sort of like a Ninja. An unknown warrior with unknown purpose and name. Nobody knows how old she is or where she came from. Just lurking around Shadows. harhar. She now resides in our yard and has already warmed up and learned to trust us. She loves cuddling with people.

Life in stereo

I miss listening to stereos. Those bulky boxes that adorn livingrooms and bedrooms. The ones that you see in movies and television shows where they crank up the volume and party the night away while having profound epiphanies which end in disasters. I have one in my room. A stereo/amplifier kind of sorts. But it is all busted up now. No thanks to the house help's clandestine usage of it. Funny enough, we don't even bother having it fixed. Not a care in the world. We just watch it gather dust like a child seeing snow for the first time.

I blame humanity's new found reliance to the wonders of technology. Today, we could always count on our computers and MP3 players (the gorgeous but ghastly IPod) to satisfy any musical cravings that we may have churning our insides. It's like feeding your beloved rabid dog with class A caviar. Even if it is more expensive. We could always buy stereos now anywhere. On the streets of the metro and stalls in Tiangges and flea markets. We could even buy it in groceries in a very cheap price. The same price as buying a bunch of CD's in one go. But we don't buy them. Instead, we rally to the nearest fancy electronics store and complain about the overpriced device but hook up with it anyway, learning the power of credit along with it.

Stereos still has, and will always have this old charm. Listening to it during an afternoon spell or even while it lulls you to sleep at night. Letting the music escape through the circular speakers and fill the room a certain kind of vibe. Letting the music dance around the room as if to celebrate its liberation from an oppressive box. As you get entranced with the dance and let you slip away and dream dreams that you haven't seen before.

I guess music is an experience. Lately we only hear or listen to music, even dance with the beat. But we don't really experience it. I have been told that tracks in a CD is arranged in a certain way because it has to be listened that way. The arrangement maximizes what the musician wants. It was i suppose meant to take us away to someplace else and see visions. Whatever that means. Though i agree. It is nice to listen to CD's from the first to last track. sometimes I come back panting. But now, with a million assorted songs at our disposal, we get shorter attention spans and get bored and move on to the next song we seem to like listening next. We get fragmented and disconnected. We do not have value to anything and anything is subject to disposal at the end of brief lives. Like nothing matters anymore and everything are just mere objects.

And then I am just rambling. I do not know where this is headed. Although, what i know is that if you like the IPod just because it maximizes your cow licks or it really goes well with your bag and you feel you really look happening with headphones placed in your ear eventhough music is not playing, you might as well have just skipped this post and went on with your life. hehehe.

Vigor have crept up the ceiling. Some are hiding high above, behind the curtain the others lurking behind closets, crouching with hands covering their heads eluding a feral beast. Energy has decided to relive second chilhoods and played hide-and-seek. The dampness of the august rain hovers above roofs like a cloud from where it came from and settled down on every imaginable crevice. Leaving thin strips of ribbon on the gutter. Slithering away to look for a nest. Effervescent. Gray. Dirty.

I die from non-activity. Swirling, spiraling into a forced stupor.

hey listen...

I have been going over stuff I have posted in a blog in my networking site account. I was just surprised to have encountered a post that I made years ago. Ho-hum... To be young and so emo, words coming from Ingrid, who is a friend of mine. Yes, youth can be sweet yet, tumultuous at times. An oxymoron. An irony. A sarcasm. Confusing times as it may seem but, youth is delightfully chaotic.

Here is the post as written:

hey Listen!

i have come to think that i am getting nowhere with my creative writing. i hone myself and create endlessly and yet, nothing. even with my visual arts.

sometimes i wonder why i keep on writing with no readers, no addresee's, no critics. it seems all just a waste of my time and energy.

i also wonder why i keep on wasting money with rolls of film and processing expenses. i wonder why i bother to compose images in my minds eye without anyone receiving my messages that are conveyed. not even just appreciation of aesthetic elements of my products.

i'm an arrow that soars endlessly, seeking a target that is not there to begin with. or is it that this aspiration will not be satisfied? am i just like a child that reaches for the brilliance of the dancing stars?

is it just out of my league? not meant to be?

i need to do some evaluation. i need to find something. eventhough i don't know yet what that something is. i will still try to find it. whatever it is. i hope luck is on my side.

oh, yes.... what was I thinking??? Still, years later I find myself still pushing through it all. An arrow still looking for its target. Aspiring without the hope of satisfaction. An adult now yet still has this child within reaching for the dancing stars above. Only faith I guess guides me through. That's all I have for now. Geez... I'm not getting any younger, I'm at my wit's end. Save me!

O.D. on Drugs

Nope, I did not overdose on drugs. It was rather an Odd Dream on drugs, among other oddities frolicking inside this thick head of mine. It was quite a lucid dream if you ask me. The sensations that rushed through my skin, the smell that wafts around my nose hairs, the uproaring feeling just underneath the skin writhes and rolls around as it refuses to depart my consciousness into the realm of the oblivion. It still lingers around my brain as I write.

To give closure to these shenanigans, I will try to recall some of them. These dreams are so crazy, so don't blame me if you develop something vile from reading this. Consider yourself forewarned.


Dream #1:

I was supposedly reading a piece of literature outfront at home, with a cigarette between my fingers. It was a dreary and cloudy mid-afternoon. A breeze was constantly blowing, making my skin cool to the touch. Then came a black car and parked just outside our gate. Then came down a gorgeous person (I actually recognized the person, I'll just keep it a secret) rushing towards me. I was surprised at this unexpected arrival and as I looked into the person's eyes I saw desire and a certain kind of intensity that heats up the air around. A feeble, "what are you doing here?" came out of my mouth as the person approached me. In reply, the person (here's the eeew, corny, baduy part...) pressed
an index finger on my lips and said "I don't give a shit what they say!" with such power I could feel fire rushing through every inch of my veins that made my blood boil. Then the person locked lips with me as both our bloods boil in unison, passion spilling over the pores of our skin flooding the place around us with warm energy. Ruffling each other's hair, crushing each other's bones and skin.

-END-

I can still feel the soreness on my lips. tee-hee. Yeah, I know the person, and I guess I am crunching. Though, I don't even hope to be with the person. Unless the person would start being less than gorgeous, I don't even stand a chance on getting the time of day. It will just remain perhaps, a figment of my dreams. harhar...

Dream #2:

I was in a dark and posh apartment. I figured it was posh because of the furnishings that surrounded me, very Rockstar + Bobby Trendy kind of way. I am aligned with people forming a not so perfect circle in the middle of the living room. People had smiles on their faces in an evil kind of way and was passing around tubes containing a viscuous clear liquid. I did not recall that I know these people in real life. In the dream I understood it was some kind of new drug, like liquid Cocaine. Everybody was getting their own tubes and breaking them in the middle and dumping this liquid into their mouths as they get high. I followed suit and took one into my mouth. Though I am enjoying myself, I started getting bored with the dope and one of the people in the circle, probably the rich person who owned the place, noticed me. Then he reached out somewhere and took out a syringe filled with heroin. Oh my Gawwd! Then the leader of the pack approached me and took my arm and started slapping behind my elbow trying to look for a prominent vein. Afterwards the guy stuck in the needle and injected the Heroin inside me. I was writhing in ecstasy, sort of like that. I couldn't describe how I reacted to it. It was so sublime. The world around me started to drift away, and my whole body was quivering like hell. There was a faint buzzing sound ringing in my ears and I was screaming in delight. Then after 30 secs. it was all over as people around me were staring at me with satisfied yet evil eyes.

-END-

Well, yeah. I should not read Trainspotting again. That was the last scene in my dream before waking up. The dream was so lucid I felt that the heroin that was injected into me was still in my veins. I lost all sense of reality and confused the dream for something real. It took me a while until I was able to get up from bed, still shivering from the last dream. I don't know what these dream meant but, hell it was reall crazy. It just comes to show that I am at the edge of insanity. Harhar.

Ok. you can throw stones at me now...

Wow, Lemonade

Currently I am exploring the wonders of World of Warcraft. So far I am getting addicted to it. I hereby bid my very blissful non-moving life farewell and say hello again to the world of online gaming. A very sweet counter-productive activity. Adios! My minions are waiting for me. tee-hee...

This game really takes me away from my muse and the conscience that kicks my butt to make me do something productive.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

If life gives you lemons, then make lemonade. Then try to find somebody whose life gives them vodka and have a party.

-=*The person who said this eludes my memory. I'll get back on this when I recall who said it.=-

goatees and spectacles

Friday night:

A friend texted that he couldn't help telling me that I remind him of Project Runway. I replied with a "Let me guess, Jay McCarroll?". Sure, I couldn't hold it against him. Opinions should be respected. But, if people around you (not just one) like friends and family share the same thoughts, clearly it's telling something to you.

Then a follow up text came, about how this guy in glasses in a pepsi commercial hollering "hallelujiah" reminded them of me. And then right after came, "Sorry, it's the glasses and the 'Chin pubes' (goatee)".

Really?

I admit I see the resemblance they are pointing out but is it a bad or good thing? I wouldn't mind being mistaken for an artistic genious in the fashion scene (i loved his art deco dress, among others). It's just disturbing, I think.

I'm a type of person who tries to reinvent himself a lot of times. I try to find something different and vibrant. I take in everything around me from all shapes, sizes and color and whip out something different (nothing really brilliant) or ironic or whatever works for me. I get tired of following rules and norms and break them (once in a while) instead. Just to break the monotony.

But now the world has caught up on me. Perhaps I retreated into my own little shell for too long. Or maybe the world got too small and boring. It seems that it takes so much more to move people nowadays. Where a tinge of excitement seems a luxury.

Well, I guess I just have to drop those dark-rimmed glasses of mine and stow it away now. I got bored with it anyway.

of dreams and sparks

When I was younger, ( i still am, mind you) all I ever dreamed of is to have a career where my strengths are put into good use. I wasn't ambitious enough to dream of a six-figure salary. The only requirements that should be met would be that: [a.] I could wear anything that I want to work and [b.] that I could occassionally hang out in public commercial places for brunch on a weekday or even perhaps, [c.] go on an impromptu out of town road trip and breathe fresh air during work hours.

Now that I am older ( a little older, tee-hee), I realized that this lifestyle I wanted was all but just a distant dream. Time has passed and things have definitely changed. If it is for better or for worse, only God knows the answer. It turns out that in order for this dream to take shape is either to have a very lucrative early retirement or be an heir to a business magnate which is of course, a fruit falling far off from its tree. Therefore, I have to dream up a six-figure salary dream and draw out other different kinds of dreams in the process.

But, (there's always a but) life has been always a series of struggles and adversities with a promise of bliss and merrymaking at the end of a thorny rainbow. There is always a balance of Yin and Yang or an intricate web of divine plans. Nobody really gets what they want all the time (unless you are a really, really spoiled brat). What people really get is what they need and receiving what is essential for us would be in the best of our interests, right?

This does not mean that ceasing to dream is the best course of action. Dreaming is what makes men very special creatures. It is a manifestation of that divine spark that we posses. The spark that can part seas and move mountains. It is about rolling with the punches and receiving blows once in a while.

So, here I am still holding on to a handful of dreams with the hope of at least one coming into fruition. Not a single soul knows where it may bring me and my end destination still looks like a broad horizon to me. Onwards I go. Who knows? I might end up with a very lucrative retirement after all.

Photo journal: words and images

From now on I will be using images occasionally as a blog entry. Sometimes I can express myself freely through images when words can only speak only so much. Sometimes, pictures can impart my current state of self (emotions, stream of conciousness, mindset) better than even (warning: Cliche) millions of words. Therefore, Each Photo being uploaded here from now on, besides the fact of my desire to share them (except for other photos), represents who I am or what I am thinking. A metaphor for endless thoughts that I may have. An example of this would be the posted image above. hehe. And of course, I shouldn't be explaining myself to you. It is a free world after all.

Sister's wedding prep update

As I have mentioned in my previous entry, I have been helping my sister with her wedding preparations. This time, our latest accomplishment is this save the date card that I made to be sent out to principal sponsors and people she has to inform that are out of the country(as i have understood of the purpose of it).

I had to shoot a lot of photos of this couple in different poses. The groom is a shy person (camera shy, too), so it was difficult to get good or quirky shots from them. mostly they were uptight shots. But, eventually we were able to manage. I did the layout and design of the card through Adobe Photoshop. The colorscheme of the card is based on (obviously) the motif. Though it was hard getting the exact shades. Tee-hee.

I hope my efforts suffices.

another aimless ramble

It is tough being singled out. Specially when you yourself don't even know where to go or place yourself. A time when you wish you were anywhere but the spotlight. Yet, sometimes, sometime in your life you get this unexpected privelege. It may come from droves of people or it may come from one single soul.

Next thing you know, you are seeing hearts and arrows. You find that Cupid's bow is spinning your mind around. hehe. For the first time in your life you feel like you are something special. Not just a single star drowned out by its neighbors in the galaxy, but a Sun glowing brightly in it's own solar system.

I don't like the attention. I never liked being in the middle of a crazy world. I prefer to be projected as a stoic hermit living inside a cave with a lantern in hand, illuminating his narrow path. I may be like a hermit right now. Since, I have been lodged in the darkness for quite some time now. A swirl of confusion has been my friend, waiting for a ray of light, of clarity, to invade this intimate interaction.

And perhaps, I may be seeing this light of mine slowly integrating into existence. I may have seen this fuel that burns passion. To help me come into my perfect existence, total being. I may have an existing ride in store for me. I better stoke up the fire and bring out the special cutlery and china. Guests will arrive soon.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Enough of that rubbish. I'm just giving my fingers some practice. hehehe.

I have been helping my sister with her wedding preparations and our latest accomplishment would be creating illuminaries for her reception. These small lanterns would be placed along pathways and around the pool. This will give the place an uncharacteristic glow and these things are quite romantic.

And we are proud to say that these things we made are just from scrap. yes, from recycle-able materials:

• 1.5 liter pepsi bottle (or any other plastic bottle)
• pebbles/sand from the aquarium or wherever you may find some.
• tea lights/ or any candle that you may have
  
• 1 very sharp cutter
• 1 pair of heavy duty scissors

You may want to try it yourself for a bit of spice to any deep dull and dark place you may have lying around. hehehe

It may not look so great when you see it, but it would be dark out there right? So, nobody would see the jagged edges and other imperfections. hehehe. It just glows nice. wow... me like pretty, pretty lights... I apologize for low quality sample photos.

Do you have money to spare, Mr. Koala Bear?

I have learned a valuable lesson:
I don't mix well with coffee or any caffeinated drink. Lest I suffer uncontrollable fits of insanity. I had to learn it the hard way. Like all the lessons that I have learned in life.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

This is just a theory but, I will try to prove it:
Wedding + Photography = Career!

And may God have mercy on my soul.

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I may not be religious but, I know for a fact that God is punishing me right now. He may have his reasons that I may or may not comprehend. And I bet He's going to see it through to the end. Not that I'm complaining...

Oh, please if ever you are up there... Save me, Superman!

Soulmate on a rainy day

The sun has emerged
from the shadows of the clouds.
Warmth has crept in
to dispel the rainy day.
The Earth starts to glow again,
yet I still haven't found you.

My insides stir...

I walk among the grass,
feeling the mud under my feet.
Bathing in the dampness and filth.
Grounding my spirit.
Halting its search for you
to satiate my insides that churns madly.

Yearning for you...

Sunlight glistens on the
puddle of water.
Full of muck. Rippling waves.
I scoop water out of the puddle
with my hand, hoping to catch
a glint of light that shines.

Like the light I try to catch, I still don't have you.

Prelude

Another leaf is about to be turned over in my biological clock. It seems that I only get older but none the wiser. Tomorrow, once every year, I will be the most self-centered person alive. I deserve the right to be one once in a while. You are forewarned.

I seem to only get older, but never grown up even at the minutest bit. Everybody has their time, I say. I don't know when this time comes. It may come at the most incospicuous of times and places. With the rate that I am going, I may anticipate it in every corner, geared up for the pounce.

Although no body is ever ready.