Jack TV's Boombox Live 2

I trooped off to Eastwood Central Plaza last October 11, 2008 to be the official photographer of Jack TV for the event. It was fun being silly with my former mates again after such time. There were free flowing Margarita Kings and SMB Pales that really loosened us up and made us red to the skin. To top everything off, good music was in the air to give that oomph to the event.

The bands were:

• Lala
• Sinosikat?
• Stonefree
• Markus Highway
• Join the Club
  
• Rivermaya
• Taken by Cars
• Typecast
  

During the half of my stint, I assumed that I will only be covering the event for their post collateral and stuff. But, then the events manager approached me from behind while I was in between shots of Kat of Sinosikat? then whispered into my ear, "galingan mo ni... gagamitin yan photos mo para sa CD design" (make it good... we will use your photos for the CD design). Then a voice in my head said "Can you feel the pressure right now? Yes, I can feel the pressure right now!"

You see, part of the event is the live recording, and afterwards they will be producing and publishing the event in a CD featuring the hit songs of the artist as it was performed live. Never have I expected that I would be commissioned to provide the images for the CD design. It made me excited and scared at the same time since I never handled anything major like this. Though I better get ready if I want a career in photography.

Please click on the image to see more of the shots that I submitted for their use. Tell me what you think on how I did. Yes, I am open for criticism, I am open minded. Now, let me just fix some additional compensation since they did not tell me that this project included this...

So it is indeed a bit tight...

Weeks into braving the job market and now I find myself in the middle of a job-hunter's hell. I am selling myself too much and still I haven't found anything.

I guess like looking for a good apartment... looking for a job is like falling in love. You don't have control over it and things will fall into place. Yet, sometimes you put a lot of effort into something and still you fall short and get dumped for prettier faces attached to godlike bodies. It's just isn't fair. But, when did anything in life got fair?

Some will just suck you dry as you put everything into it. As you give in to every request. And yet will leave you hanging not as much as giving any hint of any good future. Just enough to mess with you and making you clench your teeth tightly. Leaving you in turmoil and driving you at your wit's end and still not so much as a single call. Then you find them with someone else.

All you need to wait for is a perfect match. If indeed it will come. Or just settle for something that is just there without sparks flying around you. Or go with anything that pays for the rent... life is a little bit tight these days...

Let it not be contrived...

Dusk has risen into the skies clad in a cloak of raging red. Slowly crawling into the vast expanse of the heavens. Engulfing everything that is blue. I see myself entranced, as if the skies are telling me divine secrets of my destiny. I let loose and let go... and let myself be swallowed into the wraith of my ominous future.

I want to see the world through the eye of my lens.

The Wildlife in Our Yard

Just sharing this set. I just went trigger happy with my camera and shot away with the simple splendors that our yard could offer. My fingers were just itching to shoot something and I just went out and captured anything I saw outside.

After that reckless shoot... It made me miss my Adobe Photoshop more after losing my very Jurassic version due to reformatting. I gotta install one very soon else I will feel doomed.

Click on the images to see the rest of the photos.

It Doesn't hurt to be a Bit Dapper Sometimes

I want a suit that looks like this.

I never ever had success in looking good with suits. I have yet to find the perfect set that fits well like this suit on the guy here...

Perhaps it's an acquired skill? I refuse to raise my flag. I will surely find the perfect tailored suit for me. I'm tired of looking like a high school kid who has to wear his dad's tie for prom. I want to look smart sometimes, even though it takes a lot to convince people.

The other problem though will be finding the occasion where I could wear it...

I Just Want to Make Sure

After so many wrong choices. After so many dissapointments and defeats. I just want to really be sure that I will be alright. That someday I will make the right decision. I just don't want to be left high and dry. Is it wrong to be impulsive and passionate with what you want? Is it wrong to pursue something that will make you happy without the crystal clear assurance of it being yours? Who will be the loser then?

Kaibigan - Up Dharma Down

The band's second spin on the Apo Hiking Society's song, Kaibigan. The video is an excerpt from the band's documentary "On Either Side".

For more information about the band and their documentary, check out: www.updharmadown.com.

Executive Producer: Toti Dalmacion & Up Dharma Down
Producer: Up Dharma Down / Keith Tan
Direction: Keith Tan
Assistant Direction: Jamie Jumaquio
Direction of Photography & Lights: Mackie Galvez
Production Assistant / Production Stills: Martin Verano
Sound Supervision / Engineering: Noel Db
Sound Tech / Assistant: Mark VIllena
Editing: Keith Tan / Ean Mayor

Presenting the Beckies... by Alma Abenir

A repost from Alma Abenir's Blog about our circle of friends

Di ko maimagine na lalaki pa pala ang populasyon ng circle of friends ko,, steady na ko dati sa pantay na bilang ng mga kaibigan ko na 80% babae at 100% na lalake(echos!)..ngayon nahati ito sa iba`t ibang division.. straight na babae, straight na lalake, babaeng bakla, lalakeng pamin (mga nagpapanggap na straight kahit mahahatsing ka na sa sobrang paminta),tivoli(tomboy) at mga ganap na bakla(becky).sa lahat ng klase ng nilalang na binanggit ko .. mas lalo ko naiintindihan ang totoong definition ng buhay noong nakilala ko at nakasama ang mga becky..

Sa lahat ng mga nakikilala at nakasalamuha ko na kabilang sa pangatlong mundo(hehehe parang mga aliens lang dba?),nakapili lang ako ng anim na masasabi kong naging importante sa akin at nakaimpluwensya ng todo..

STEVE

oo parang artista lang kung titignan mo.. pero isa din cxang ordinaryong tao na katulad ng iba na marunong magmahal at nag iintay na mahalin( hayuf!)

kahit ilang beses pa cxang magpahula kay pareng ivan at kahit ilang beses pang ipaduldulan na dadating at dadating ang tamang tao sa tamong panahon..maghahanap at maghahanap yan. `try and try until u succeed ang drama nya`. pero di mo makikita sa kaniya ang pagod at lungkot kahit alam mo minsan may ala-pitogong-depressing moment din cxa sa buhay nya.

JUNO

Masasabi mong pangit ka kapag si Juno na ang lumait sayo,...(hehehe kontrabida pa din kahit sa ibang kwento.).sabi nga nya hindi cxa LAITERA..`keen observer` lang daw cxa (maniwala na kayo mga friends!..)sa angking powers nyang taglay daig nya pa si darna na lumaban sa mga Giants..marami kang matututunan kay Juno, techical side..astig to! sa pagkuha ng mga classy pictures, mga kalandian at fashion.. `u know who to call...

Chill to sa pag-ibig.. di cxa nakikipag unahan...`u cant hurry love ooohh u just have to wait` ang pinanghahawakan yan lyrics sa buhay nya( kantahin nyo para malaman nyo...).dadating kung dadating..kung hindi cxa..di niya kinaganda yun.. hahaha..dito sila nagkaiba ng pananaw ni STEVE..very iba..=)

CHRIS

Ewan ko nalang kung sinong di makakakilala dito sa taong to...di naman dahil sa malakas ang tawa at boses nya.. pero ganun na nga.hehehe

NO DULL moments with chris..kung tatahimik ka man.. ibig sabihin nyon eh kumukuha ka lang ulit ng lakas para hihanda ang sarili mo sa sang damukal na pagpapatawa nya pa..di cxa napapagod..batang evervon-tiki-tiki-sustagen-centrum-atbp to!

sa kanya ulit kumita si SPANDEU BALLET dahil sa pag papauso nya ulit ng GOLD, na naging dance craze din tuwing may mga parties, gatherings,reunions, fiestas, weddings.. hahaha joke natatawa na naman ako..!!! panalo!.(ngayon nalaman nyo na kung bakit nag concert si spandeu dito..kung magrereact kayo ng..`TALAGA?`.. bahala kayo sa buhay nyo)

Pero makakausap mo din naman cxa ng seryoso. mga 1 min..joke.,masarap kausap si chris lalo na sa mga kwentong nangyayari sa totoong buhay..maraming cxang ideas at experiences na hindi mo aakalain na nanggagaling sa kanya..lalo na sa lovelife..di din cxa nagmamadali,,maganda cxa..yun ang paniniwala nya..love u becs! `don`t worry be happy` ` ang motto naman nya sa buhay..literal na be happy..

NINOY

SI Ninoy ang pinagmulan ng lahat ng bagay na nakikita nyo na masaya.. pinakilala nya kay ano, tapos na meet ni ano na kasama ni ano, na ano ni ano.. lahat yan konekonek kay ninoy, kaya talagang well-loved cxa kahit san man cxa pumunta.

Hyper din to c ninoy alaga sa vetracin este vitamins to kaya round a clock ang energy nya.. ikaw pagod na cxa hindi pa... kung gusto mo ng kakwentuhan tungkol sa lahat ng bagay na walang pretensions at walang halong edit, maaasahan mo cxa. never mong mafi feel na jinujudge ka nya, he is a good listener and he will always be.. Alam nya kung kelan magiging priority ang love over career.. he can be accomodating but he knows when to start a relationship and when he should not.SAve the Best for last ang motto nya sa buhay...

MARK

ha?ha? ha? ha? yan lang lagi mong maririnig sa kanya after mong gumamit ng 10000 letters per minute.. bakit? alamin nyo na lang..c mark typical na na 20` something guy..pahinog pa lang..( xrated?!?) he always see his self w/ a partner pero di na naman nya slight ikakamatay kung wala..lagi lang talaga cxang may options..ganda nya sa kwento dba?

Masikreto tong c mark lalo na kapag alam nya na hindi sang ayon ang mga kaibigan nya sa gagawin nya..pero pinapakita naman nya na worth it yung pag tatago nya minsan

matalino cxa UP ba naman.. he knows what hes saying.. laging may sense.. kaya lang minsan hinahaluan nya ng mga galing sa himpapawid na jokes pero tatak nya na talaga minsan ang a corny ang mga corny na jokes.. hehehe

BOM

`NG TEN TIMEs, IN A SIMPLE WAY, SWEET`, BONGGANG BONGGA!.. etc tatak bom..u`ll

Masarap kausap c bom, he`s super frank sasabihin nya sayo kung ano ang pangit at maganda in a good way. he`s always there if u need help kahit sa pag-asemble ng cabinet, ready to rescue.

Minahal at nagmahal na din cxa.. pinagtibay na cxa ng panahon..(yeah! BOYSEN).PERO cxempre andun pa din yung every woman`s dream na.. someday my prince will come(eewww..) pero hindi din cxa nagmamadali,,`KUNG MERON, MERON KUNG WALA....TARA BED!!!` hehehe

slight matampuhin c bom (may slight pa dba ?) as in matagal mawala yung tampo nya.. pero sabi nga nya ube cake lang from red ribbon ok na cxa...may pagka artista kc tong batang to eh...but he`s really a good friend..that wont let u down(yeah!)

Lahat sila may ibat ibang personality na nagustuhan ko na nagtugma sa panlasa ko..never a dull moment with them most of the time happy thoughts lang.,..kung may problema,isang upuan lang yan at maaayos din.. kaya pag nawala ang isa sa kanila mafifil mo talaga na may kulang, pero di ka nila iiwan..sabi nga ng mga nakausap ko.`may sarili din silang buhay, di sila aalis...hahanapin lang nila kung anu talaga ang para sa kanila...`

Goodbye potential eco tourism site, hello gambling vice city!

The Last Days of the Tambo Mudflats
By Tina Alejandro, WBCP founding member

I still remember creeping up to a Black Crowned Night Heron chick as it was sitting as still as a telephone pole hoping I won't notice it. It was alone and defenseless and reachable. It had nothing to fear from Robert and I and we were just euphoric at seeing a chick up close. In a comic sort of way, we humans and the chick were all motionless.

We were amidst an unimaginable number of nests in the center of the city and the birds were relatively undisturbed. Sticks of dry grass towered over us making it impossible to see just how many of them there were. The noises too were not familiar and at one point, I had visions of each one of us being snatched one by one and vanishing into the vast grass maze.

Untouched, unnoticed except by the wildlife, this was just a few meters across from a condo constructed across Manila bay. Such wonders we discovered amidst mundane looking roads and buildings.

These days you can see any one of these species in the area: Purple Heron, Little Egret,
Little Heron, Rufous Night-Heron, Black-crowned Night-Heron, Yellow Bittern, Philippine Duck, Barred Rail, Common Sandpiper, Tringa, Spotted Dove, Zebra Dove, Lesser Coucal, Collared Kingfisher, Common Kingfisher, Barn Swallow, Pacific Swallow, Yellow-vented Bulbul, Clamorous Reed-Warbler, Bright-capped Cisticola, Zitting Cisticola, Pied fantail, Long-tailed Shrike, Asian Glossy Starling, Chestnut Munia, Scaly-breasted Munia,and Terns.

We hear it is the last days of the mudflats. The government is turning the whole area into a casino complex... Pagcor city. My being sad is an understatement. Not just as an environmentalist or as a relatively decent person am I sad but also as a Filipino. These birds are what make us different from other nations. Casinos? Is this what we want to make our mark in the world as? We cannot compete with Las Vegas or Carlo but we can certainly compete in the area of biodiversity.

When I was in England for a month, I was hosted by a simple (yet well-heeled) retired couple. Knowing I was a naturalist, they hied me off a few streets away to a village lookout. It was a little wooden hut facing a pond but the one side was a one way mirror. You could see the ducks, geese, sparrows and such enjoying the tucked away corner of the bush garden. It was such a refreshing sight and unspeakably soul-enriching.

The insides of the hut contained illustrations coupled with information on the kinds of animals you could unobstrusively observe from its confines. The place was unattended, no guards to collect maintenance fees or locked gates to keep out unwanteds. It was a free for all sanctuary built by a private citizen to be shared to the community.

How glorious would it be if we had places like this in the city? It would do wonders for our world weary urban dwellers and it would teach so much more than mesmerizing pull of a roulette. If I were an influential person in government, I would ask what kind of a people do we ultimately want to be? The kind who places money above everything else? This is a self-destructive logic.

Though it may be a lost cause, I still hope for Filipinos to see the abundance that surrounds them, the riches they have which they do not value, one of the most (if not the most) diverse places per square inch in the world. I'm convinced we have the cure to the incurable right in our own backyard.

The last days of the mudflats are only a microcosm of the what's happening all over the country, unless more of us open our eyes to protect what the good Lord has freely given us. Fingers crossed, earnest prayers said, may this not be paradise lost.

MIGRAINE

Oo nga pala, hindi nga pala tayo
Hanggang dito lang ako, nangangarap na mapa-sayo
Hindi sinasadya
Na hanapin pa ang lugar ko
Asan nga ba ako? Andiyan pa ba sa iyo?

Nahihilo, nalilito
Asan ba ko sayo? Aasa ba ko sayo?

Nasusuka ako, kinakain na ang loob
Masakit na mga tuhod, kailangan bang lumuhod?
Gusto ko lang naman, yung totoo
Hindi po ang sagot, hindi rin isang tanong

Nahihilo, nalilito
Asan ba ko sayo? Asan ba ko sayo?
Nahihilo, nalilito
Asan ba ko sayo? Aasa ba ko sayo?

Dahil, di na makatulog (makatulog)
Dahil di na makakain (makakain)
Dahil di na makatawa (makatawa)
Dahil, di na

Oo nga pala, hindi nga pala tayo
Hanggang dito na lang ako

Nahihilo, nalilito
Asan ba ko sayo? Asan ba ko sayo?
Nahihilo, nalilito
Asan ba ko sayo? Aasa ba ko sayo?
Nahihilo... Nahihilo...
Nalilito...

Up Dharma Down: On Either Side

The Band's Take on their music, the industry they revolve in and roles they play in a traditional medium, projected in an oblique perspective.

Shot in the process of completing their second album, Bipolar, the documentary speaks without the excesses and the expectations of most viewers, armed with only music and words -- just like the four intended to -- only this time, in moving pictures.

--as taken from www.updharmadown.net--

Ilocos Roadtrip Mania!

We went on an impromptu backpacking on a long weekend.

Route:
Manila - Vigan - Laoag - Bangui -Pagudpod - Batac - Paoay - Laoag - Vigan - Manila

Places visited:
Heritage Village and Church of Vigan City
Laoag City Proper
Bangui Lighthouse
Bangui Windmills
Saud Beach, Pagudpod
Paoay church
Marcos Mauseleum
Fort Ilocandia


Lessons Learned:

• Plan ahead even if it not detailed. It's better to be knowledgable about things than be clueless and be prey to tourist vultures.
• Bring a water container during the road trip
• Always charge your batteries.
• Always remember you are there to have fun!!

Click on the image to view the full album of the Trip!

Just Another White Flag to Boredom

Thanks to Chuckie, i fell pray to another useless device in the internet. Lo and Behold, My virtual self true to the tradition of the Simpsons avatar that people so loved before. If you have nothing else to do and want to try it out... then speed of to the part of cyberspace at www.faceyourmanga.com and enjoy yourselves...

Chances - Athlete
(click on the album art for the youtube thing)

You never know when they'll pass you by
Like a sum the mathematician cannot solve
Like me trying my hardest to explain

It's all about your cries and kisses
Those first steps that I can't calculate
I need some more of you to take me over

Take me over

If I had the chance to start again
Then you would be the one I'd come and find
Like the poster of Berlin on my wall
Maybe there's a chance our walls might fall

It's all about your cries and kisses
Those first steps that I can't calculate
I need some more of you to take me over

It's all about your cries and kisses
Those first steps that I can't calculate
I need some more of you to take me over

I know I because I cant calculate

How to respect you
How to start again
How to start again
How to start again

It's all about you

My Ex-housemates ni Alma Abenir [grabbed andf repost]

AFTER 7 MOS na pagtira sa bahay ni nanay sa PITOGO...ngayon ko lang mapepresent ng maayos ang housemates ko...sa mga nakakakilala sa kanila...(wag na kayong mag react nde para sa inyo to..) hehehe

IVAN LOBATON a.k.a GAMMY

c ivan ang pinakabata sa aming apat...cxa talaga ang official baby ng bahay..di man halata sa picture na `to pero cxa talaga ang teen-age sweet sweet samin..cguro you`ll all wonder bakit GAMMY? actually pinacute lang namin yan..kinuha namin yan sa pangalang 'LANGGAM'- BAKIT KAMO? kc cxa ang matipid,masipag sa amin lahat...kung kami lagi laging bumibili nung kung anik anik cxa ONE-TIME-BIG-TIME ang drama nya..as in isang buhusan..(sabay cxang bumili ng PSP at DIGICAM)wala kaming nagawa kundi mapamura!!!

mabait c ivan, aakalain mo cgurong masungit sa umpisa(parang ganito lang sa picture) pero wen u got to know him...hahaha ewan ko nalang..hiritan ka ba naman ng mga pinauso nyang words tulad ng JOTDOG-hotdog, JADOBO- adobo, JUMAJALAMBON-umaabon, ewan ko kung hindi ka maaning...actually napulot nya yang paglagay ng J sa unahan ng mga words kay NInoy(ang maypakana ng lahat!) nagumpisa yan sa JAKULT-yakult naginamit ni ninoy kay Kuya edong(cno c EDONG?,wag nyo nang alamin)...official ALARM CLOCK DIN NAMIN c IVAN..cguro kung bago cxa sa paningin mo aakalain mo lang na nananaginip ka..ibang klaseng mang gising yan..(WAKIE WAKIE!!!)lang ang sasabihin nyan gigising ka na..kc matatawa ka sa facial expression nya...

JUNO OLIMPO a.k.a MAMA /D PHOTOGRAPHER

C Juno ang tumayong ina ni Ivan simula nang magdecide kami na mag apartment..andun cxa sa nakagabay haggang sa paglaki ni IVAN(pucha yoko na natatawa ako!!!)

kakaiba talaga c Juno, magaling cxa sa lahat ng bagay...sa pang ookray, pang aalaska, pamimintas, pamimilosopo...lahat yan expert cxa...taas talaga kamay mo sakanya.kaya kung hindi mo talaga kilala ng mabuti si Juno malamng naupakan mo na cxa!.pero other than that expert talaga to..sa click clickan..sa kanya lalong naenhance ang pagiging adik namin sa pagpapapicture..umulan man o maligo sa ulan..dala dala nya ang camera...kaya mapapasin nyo wala cxa lagi sa picturan kc cxa ang official utusan..PUSONG MAMON din c Juno sa pag-ibig..kumabaga tanga din..matagal mag mahal pero pag nagmahal as in sobra..pde mo na din cxa pagawaan ng MONUMENTO SA kamartyran nya...kay ----? hehehe...mabait lang talaga c juno..madaling ayain..inggitera din in his simple way..cguro yun yung attitude na nadevelop namin sa bahay ang maging inggitera..hahaha..(sa simpleng bagay lang naman! katulad ng kapag nag order c ivan ng footlong, kailangan mag fofootlong din kami, kapag adobo ang ulam ng isa, ganun din ang oorderin ng iba)

ALMA ABENIR a.k.a NIPS

Actually ako ang muse nila dito (wala naman silang choice eh..)ako ang nagmulat sa kanila sa mundong puno ng kulay...kasi everytime naglalaba ako ng undies para silang nakakakita ng COLOR WHEEL...at i know kahit nde nila sabihin eh..naaaliw sila sa mga kulay ng banderitas este ng undies ko...ako lagi ang taga tawa ng malakas kapag nag jojoke sila..kahit corny binibili ko...ako din taga break ng tie kapag may pinag dedebatihan (so far wala pa naman..dagdag ko lang to..hehehe)taga suggest kung anung masarap kainin(na minsan nauuwi lang sa pansit canton na orange)..at taga iyak kapag gusto nilang manood ng drama..sila ang nagbansag sakin PITOGO`S FINEST..tuwing pagkagising ko dahil ako ang huling nagigising sa kanilang tatlo(ako naman ang huling natutulog dba?)ako din ang hiraman ng make-ups at plansta pag feel nilang mag pictorial sa bahay..madami din akong naiambag na vocabulary sa kanila tulad ng PANGKIKIS(pusher), DUSING(dungis) at iba pa...

NINOY FERNANDO a.k.a 'BATANG ENERVON'

Daig pa ni ninoy ang batang nakainom ng isang bote ng tiki-tiki sa ka hyperan..mula pagkagising haggang bagong matulog kaya nyang magsayaw at mag patawa at the same time..at walang joke nya ang nilangaw ha...lahat yun patok!! kaya no dull moments talaga with NINOY..mabait talaga c bakla..wala kang masasabi kundi..mabait.. hehehe..madami xang friends ..kaya nga sabi namin cxa yung link sa bawat nagiging magkaibigan..actually 'KAREN' talaga ang dapat na name nya kc..kaladkaren to...khit saan go cxa...minsan lang yan hihindi...

well tulad ni Juno tanga din ito sa pag-ibig actually lahat naman kami eh..take the risk lagi ..come what may ang drama..ilang beses na din cxang kinilig at umiyak na ksama namin..esp yung kay....hehehe walang baggitan..pero still he managed to be strong...hindi mahirap pakisamahan si Ninoy may pagka-jologs in-a simple way din si bakla...go lang cxa ng go..kaya ngayon naka abot cxa cxa singapore...mahilig din cxang mag emote...name it sa banyo, sa salamin..lahat na try na nya..(lalo na sa salamin)..mapapansin mo na nalang nag aala mariah na cxa sa harap ng salamin o kaya pag sinasaniban cxa ng spiritu ni TYRA mag aala fierce cxa...mapapa iling ka nalang..hahaha..kaya ang laking impluwensya ng media sa buhay ni ninoy..hahahaha!! natawa ako dito ah..

Konti palang yan sa mga alam ko tungkol sa mga housemates ko...just to update u guys...by the end of this month aalis na din cla Juno at Ivan sa apt..c Ninoy -nasa singapore na...ako- andito sa QC kasama ng 4 na bago kong housemates , c Juno aT IVAN- magiging mag housemates pa din kasama ng new housemates nilang sila Bom at MAYJAY...cguro there will come a time na magkakasama sama ulit kaming apat sa bahay..kelan? nde ko din alam...malungkot kc parang kadenang bulaklak ang drama namin..pero cguro i just need to be thankful kc kahit papano sa 7 mos nakasama at nakilala ko sila ng sobra..im not closing my doors..pero cguro sila na talaga ang matatawag kong best housemates ever..we know each other so well...pare pareho kami ng trip(kahit paulit ulit manood ng grey`s,antm,devil wears ok lang),..walang tension..lahat chill lang..yun ang mamimiss ko sakanila..

WELL housemates `til next time..i know we`ll still see each other again(esp. Juno and ivan, qc din sila)..and to Ninoy..wait til we get there...mamimiss ko kayo... i love u guys..!

I didn't Want to Leave on a Jetplane

The one thing I am dreading has now happened. I got an offer at a big production company in Cebu. It is a great opportunity for me since the company is big. But, I never thought I would be leaving my comfort place, Manila, so soon.

In my circle of friends, I am one of the few people who'd never want to go outside the country to work. Then unexpectedly, I am one of those who get an opportunity that needs to relocate to somewhere else. Now, I'm the one who has to leave people behind which I hate doing.

I hate goodbyes and bad at it. That's why I avoid them as much as possible.

I haven't decided yet on what to do. It's just so confusing.

But now I can't escape this... I need to contemplate on this more. Life is indeed a bitch and bites you really ferociously in the ass...

I am Tired

Its true. I am tired of deciphering you every day. Figuring out what each gesture, each look, every word you say mean. I admit it right here and now.

I don't get you.

Maybe I do before, but not anymore. And it's hard work, you know. Thinking about everything about you every second, losing my drive to read, to write, to take pictures. I'm losing myself with you.

I am tired of figuring out what we are. What we mean to each other. And everytime we make love I ask to myself the real meaning of that act? This sex we have. What does that mean?

I am tired and I don't know if I can go any further. This penumbra that we are in, when are we going to step out and choose a side?

I need you to help me. I can't do all the work. Help me figure it out. What shall it be? Shall we end it or not?

I am just god damned tired...

Currently in Limbo

Sometimes you have to feel the pain. Feel the pain, force your yourself through and feel numb in the end. And remind yourself again and again that it is worth it.

Sometimes it is, sometimes it sn't. Sometimes you just don't know what to think. That's when you withdraw. You place yourself in a neutral place and just be nothing. In the middle. Until something pushes you out of the box and force you to breathe in the air. and you realize you're still alive.

Tattoo for my soul

Live/Love
6MP
200 ASA
Forgot the Rest...

We got our much awaited tattoos on one hot Saturday.

Click on the image for more photos.