Contrary to the fact that I am wearing a yin-yang earring, I am in a disarray. A lot of things in my life have tipped the balance and now I am in a state of confusion. And I am hating it. Very. No matter how hard I try to just shove it back to its usual balance, I just can't seem to put it back. No matter how hard I deny it, the more it take its toll on me. I guess I just have to let it flow.
I can't believe and won't accept that these things happened because of certain things. I just can't.
One thing I hate about it the most is that somehow it changed me. Against my will and I am afraid that I will never be the same old guy I used to be and I was comfortable with the old me. I can't seem to enjoy the things I usually enjoy. Whenever I try doing those things I just end up disappointed and confused. I miss everything about me. I miss shooting for my photography and it is a big chunk of who I really was. But, I won't give up on that yet. Not just yet. I miss shooting. And I will really try hard to get back on it. It is my dream career after all.
Hoooboy, When will I get myself back? When will I find myeslf again? I hope I do, somewhere, somehow.
and i ramble again...
The Boy Next DoorRandom Gentle Love Dreamer (RGLD) http://panther.is0.okcupid.com/graphics/persons/RGLDm.gif" alt="The Boy Next Door" style="float: left;"> Kind, yearning, playful, you are The Boy Next Door. You're looking for real Love, a lot like girls do. It might not be manly, but it's sweet. We think the next three years will be very exciting and fruitful ones for you. Your spontaneous, creative side makes you a charming date, and we think you have a horny side just waiting to shine. Or glisten, rather. You enter new relationships unusually hopeful, and the first moments are especially glorious. If you've had some things not work out before, so what. On paper, most gay guys would name the Boy Next Door as their ideal mate. In the real world, however, you're often passed over for more dangerous or masculine men. You're the typical "nice guy:" without just a touch of cockiness, you're doomed with boys. A shoulder to cry on? Okay, sure. But never a penis to hold. More than any other type, Boys Next Door evolve as they get older. As we said, many find true love, but some fail miserably in the search. These tarnished few grow up to be The Men Next Door, who are creepy as hell, offering backrubs to kids and what not. Your exact male opposite: The 5-Night Stand  http://panther.is0.okcupid.com/graphics/persons/DBSMm_thumb.gif" alt="The 5-Night Stand" style="border: 1px solid rgb(221, 221, 221); padding: 3px; background: rgb(255, 255, 255) none repeat scroll 0%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;">Deliberate Brutal Sex Master Always avoid: The Billy Goat (DBSD) Consider: The Gentleman (DGLM), The Loverboy (RGLM) |
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