Blog fasting

After weeks of bitter silence, I am now breaking the chain. A time for me to serve up an endless barrage of senseless tirade of nothingness from my genious/heinous mind.

and the best way to jumpstart a broken silence i believe is to post something that would be an evidence of narcissistic devices.

My Johari Window. The fruits of my never ending quirkiness and insecurities ( asus!). And of course this is the result of pesky lobbying from diverse and patient friends. *blink*

anyways, lo and behold! a meaningless blog! tee-hee...

Arena (known to self and others) accepting, friendly, mature, observant, searching	Blind Spot (known only to others) adaptable, bold, brave, calm, caring, cheerful, clever, complex, confident, dependable, energetic, extroverted, happy, helpful, idealistic, intelligent, kind, knowledgeable, loving, quiet, reflective, relaxed, responsive, self-conscious, silly, trustworthy, warm, witty
Façade (known only to self)	Unknown (known to nobody) able, dignified, giving, independent, ingenious, introverted, logical, modest, nervous, organised, patient, powerful, proud, religious, self-assertive, sensible, sentimental, shy, spontaneous, sympathetic, tense, wise

Dominant Traits

58% of people agree that Junosan is friendly

All Percentages

able (0%) accepting (16%) adaptable (16%) bold (16%) brave (8%) calm (16%) caring (8%) cheerful (33%) clever (8%) complex (16%) confident (8%) dependable (8%) dignified (0%) energetic (16%) extroverted (16%) friendly (58%) giving (0%) happy (16%) helpful (8%) idealistic (8%) independent (0%) ingenious (0%) intelligent (8%) introverted (0%) kind (16%) knowledgeable (25%) logical (0%) loving (8%) mature (16%) modest (0%) nervous (0%) observant (41%) organised (0%) patient (0%) powerful (0%) proud (0%) quiet (16%) reflective (8%) relaxed (8%) religious (0%) responsive (8%) searching (8%) self-assertive (0%) self-conscious (8%) sensible (0%) sentimental (0%) shy (0%) silly (33%) spontaneous (0%) sympathetic (0%) tense (0%) trustworthy (16%) warm (16%) wise (0%) witty (33%)

Created by the Interactive Johari Window on 30.3.2006, using data from 12 respondents.
You can make your own Johari Window, or view Junosan's full data.

why do i care?

Why is it these shows like Survivor, fear factor, Big brother, etc. are claiming to be "reality based" programs when everybody is in front of the camera everyday, every minute and second? Do you think people would act "real" (ok, be themselves) when a very big camera and every single citizen of this insane world is listening and keeping an eye on everything you do and say? I don't think so.

Besides, these people were chosen for the shows after an audition. Like any other movie or television show. A way of controlling variables. And of controlling people. What would making a young hopeful dance around in front of a lot of people do? Why would you want to see people undress in front of you faster than you could say "oh my god!". Wait, anybody would want that, so scratch that one. Carefully selecting people would be tampering yet again the concept of being "reality based". If producers want something real to serve up to their audience, they should have just handpicked people off the streets in a random fashion and hit them hard with the show's concept without giving them time to internalize the thing or even, breathe. Now, let us see how the subjects would react.

People seem to enjoy watching these quasishows. They are actually amused with what they are seeing. I guess they just felt that those on television are more real (or they want it to be) than what they have in this godforsaken society. A society of circus politics and absurd psyches. And let me make it clear that I am not in any way dissing these shows. I wouldn't want to give them the satisfaction of having that from me. It is just me foraging through my thoughts to escape my deadpan life. Yes, it is sad, yet true.

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I should really consider shifting into visual arts or film. I feel I have the passion for it and people say I have the "eye" for it. Then that leaves me to just try it.

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I really need a "personal computer" of my own. Invaders are out of control and have walked past the red zone. Fire in the hole people! And of course, I am yet again lashing out incoherent and undecipherable thoughts. I need to set a direction for myself.

My Liberation Front

I finally did it. I am officially a bum.

After days of contemplation, I handed over my resignation to my boss and we parted ways amicably. It seems that I am free to do whatever I want right now. Time to hit my ever growing pile of books and DVD's. One good thing is that I managed to save a little bit of money from my salary that could sustain my bum life for a while.

Bagiuo seems to be a tempting destination for my first adventure as a bum.

And yet reality smacks me in the butt. Sooner or later I would have to reconcile myself back to the already long list of unemployed. Whether I like it or not, I have to acknowledge an already big pile of bills and responsibilities and make sure that it doesn't gather dust by the corner of the dreaded side of reality.

Delusions are nice while they last and it may flit away anytime without prior notice. Thus, I will be going back to the drawing board as mirages of a good life disintegrates into thin air. I might as well savor every second of my pseudoblissful existence.