Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Pyschotic run...

Where am I headed? Saan ako pupulutin?

All through out a quarter of a century of my life I never felt my life amounted to something. This is not me being emo, mind you. I am way past that stage. It doesn't suit me anyway. All this mumbo jumbo post is me expressing this disconcerting feeling within.

Everything that is happening within me, I couldn't understand it. All jumbled up within my heart and mind that I just would like to burst it all out of me. But, I can't do that. And after all.. nothing will happen if I do that.

Younger, I always believed that I am slated to do noteworthy things that could move a lot of people. Years and years later, the only thing I moved was my butt from one work to another. Wihout a measly penny in my bank account nor a feather on my cap. And now my thoughts and emotions are so unstable that I drift within... and this is not just your ordinary quarter life crisis.

I should be at least happy right now. I'm not even content. Am I being impatient? After seeing everybody around me doing their thing and being recognized as one of the best, knowing that you could even do what the other does twice as great, makes me think if I am going the right way and path. I hope I know what I am looking for.

Perhaps, I'm just psychotic.

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